you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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