I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
