I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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