I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
