I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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