i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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