i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
