his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
