I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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