Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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