Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
