He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
