Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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