This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
