Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize
