so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
