So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
