I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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