Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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