Buhtt sex?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I lost the right to judge tonight
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
