theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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