hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
