you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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