Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
