im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
