I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
