I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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