And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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