He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
