I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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