Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Boobs are out for the taking
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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