she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Randomize
