i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
