And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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