I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
