Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
