you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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