so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
