but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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