I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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