Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
