I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
