if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
