your parents love me but you hate me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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