she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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