Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
