I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
