Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He shit in the fireplace
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
