I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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