so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
