I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
