Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it glows. i had to have it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
