OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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