operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize