she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My breasts were aching with rage.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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