coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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