He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
