I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i dont even know how to be here
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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